I am going to do my best to bring you up to speed. Henry is the only one awake (for now) and he is eating a pop-tart and chugging drinking his first allowed cup of milk in 3+ days.
The whole diabetes diagnosis has thrown JW into a huge mess of depression, anger, fear, denial, and he was isbeing a big baby or "tootie-tottie" as we like to say in our house. Now, I can't blame him for any of these reactions-it IS a scary diagnosis for a 38 year old man that went into the Dr's. for a routine physical and comes out with life going downhill...
Breakdown #1: Sat. morning, John is getting ready to go to work and STILL hasn't even taken the %^&*! glucometer out of the BOX to test his glucose levels THREE times a day. So we had the "grow up and denial will NOT make this go away discussion yell-fest." He doesn't want anyone to know, not his Mother who has had diabetes for over 37 years, not his brother who has just also been diagnosed within the last two years, not our neighbor that is very truthful and also a diabetic. Not our friends-no one. We had plans to go to a festival that night with our good friends that night and I asked if we should really go... a) could he "buck up" and not be a crab and b) could he control himself and not drink 8 million beers and chow on Brats. He was SO mad- said that I was the only one telling him what CAN'T do. We go to the festival, he drinks 8 million 5 beers and eats 3 pieces of pizza.
The above leads us to Breakdown #2 Sat. night. We are back home, kids are in bed, I am tired and JW is back to acting like his pouty, bratty wo is me self. THIS is when he chooses to tell me he called and talked to his Mother (remember-diabetic for 37 years?) while at work. Her stellar piece of advice for her "little boy?" "Oh, just stop drinking Coke and you will be fine." WHA??!! I lost it completely. WHO says that to someone that a) eats a horrible diet consisting of0 fruits or veggies b) they love? c) someone that they KNOW is a big baby because SHE is the one that caused him to be that way. d) Has the years of experience to KNOW that glucose levels in the 300's AND triglycerides in the 700's are off the charts DANGEROUS if not controlled. BD#2 ended with him literally looking me in the eye and saying "I think you are happy about this whole thing because it just gives you one more thing for you to control"
DONE
I went ape. If anyone knows us, they know that there is no "leash" on John. There never has. I was so mad and upset, I can't believe I did not yell my uterus out. The low down of BD#2 is that I told him that I have too many things on my plate that is only going to get worse. I have three kids that I am responsible for and another I am responsible for keeping healthy. I can't add him to the mix and I won't. HE is an adult-suck it up and deal with it. He has responsibilities too- get his head out of his ass or go live with his Mother who will only tell him to lay low on Coke and pat his back saying "Oh poor little boy..."
He apologized the next day- to which I reiterated the same stuff and told him to shove his apology.Then he went to a golf outing/dinner all day where he ate shit and drank beer.
I was mentally putting so much expectation on the diabetic nutritionist. I was relying on her to tell John the "rules," for her to give us a starting point, for her to give us the information that his Doctor (aka the idiot) refused to tell us. I wanted HER to be the "bad guy" not me with this new diet that I am now responsible for researching, buying and cooking. There was a lot riding on this meeting that he didn't even want me going to.
And they canceled it without calling. I arrived 10 minutes before JW. When I "check in" and am told that we didn't have an appointment and that the DN wasn't even there, I can honestly say I truly had a breakdown. A sobbing, snot coming out of my nose, yelling breakdown.They had tried to run the diabetic education through our insurance last Friday and it was denied. Well, I knew this was incorrect and told them Friday that I work for a J & J company- you know- the LEADING manufacturer of DIABETIC SUPPLIES AND INSULIN you dumb ass... and I was 100% positive that my insurance would cover it and also said that IF for some reason it wasn't covered, we would pay for the education-it was THAT important. They said that they tried to run it through again on Friday afternoon, it was again denied and so they canceled our appointment-without notifying us. All I can say is that I guarantee that if they had had a under the counter security/panic button, they would have been pushing it repeatedly.
I have to go feed children- Part II coming soon.
